Trust
by BurningDecks
Summary: Connor had noticed things about Becker that the others hadn't, so he thought he'd check his personal files. What he found could ruin the Captains career and their relationship. Language. Connor/Becker


**Connor had noticed things about Becker that the others hadn't, so he thought he'd check his personal files. What he found could ruin the Captains career and their relationship. Language. (Actually Connor didn't notice I did. I noticed Ben Mansfield's bottom lip is thinner on one side, and has a funny eyebrow? Probably a scar from being such a manly man!)**

* * *

><p>Connor watched Becker storm through the ARC and stop in the middle of the room when Matt called after him, Becker's eyes were filled with anger and hatred at that moment. "What right does he have to go nosing around in my file?"<p>

Connor sat on one of the desks tinkering with a gadget and talking to Abby at the same time when Becker came flying out, at first Connor tried to pretend he had no idea what was going on but when the file was mentioned, his mask slipped straight away and he shrunk back hoping in all his rage Becker wouldn't see him.

He knew he had done wrong by giving Lester the file, but he thought at the time it was for the best. He thought he was protecting his friends and the very man that was now fuming.

"Connor was just looking out for you and the rest of the team, besides it's not like Lester has sacked you or anything, so just calm down before you hurt yourself this kind of anger isn't good for you."

Abby looked up at Connor from the seat she was sitting in. "Connor..." She hissed. "What did you do?"

Abby's whispering of Connor's name seemed to gain Becker's attention, his hands dug deep into his pocket and the jingling of keys could be heard before they were thrown to the floor just in front of Connor.

"We're done Connor, take the keys, get your stuff and then get the fuck out of my flat!" Those words hit Connor like a tonne of bricks, he had lived with Becker for a while now actually he had moved in with Becker exactly fourteen days after coming back through the anomaly leading to the Cretaceous era. He remembered the moment they stepped through and the security team all pointed guns at them, Abby seemed a little freaked but once she saw Becker it was all better again.

She flung herself at him wrapping her arms around his neck tightly as if she didn't believe they had really returned, Becker hugged her but the whole time kept his eyes locked in some kind of intense gaze with the other man, the hug he then received from him wasn't nearly long enough. He hadn't seen the man in nearly a year, even the very thought of losing him again made his heart hurt.

Connor could remember the way Becker came up from behind him holding a can of lemonade in the locker room, having been stuck with a load of dinosaurs every slight noise set Connor to red alert so it was no surprise he jumped when he heard the can open. Becker held up his free hand in surrender and then held the cold blue can out to his weary friend, Connor slowly reached forward taking it and sipping awkwardly while staring at the floor.

He could barely look Becker in the eye now, he hadn't seen another human besides Abby in nearly a year the gaze they shared after stepping through the anomaly seemed to be a one off, never to happen again thing.

"Look at me Connor." Becker said quietly standing in front of Connor in the locker room, they were alone and were not going to be disturbed he had made sure of that. "Connor, please..."

"I can't." He mumbled back crushing the now empty can and letting it drop by his feet.

Becker was tempted to laugh but held it in. "You can't lift your head and look at me?" Connor shook his head, he looked more then nervous, mostly terrified. So Becker stepped forward making Connor step back that made Becker step forward again and they repeated this pattern until the crash of a body hitting the lockers prevented them from moving any further. "Connor." Becker held his arms either side of Connor's bowed head leaving him trapped. "In your own time..." He whispered reassuringly.

He had always known the way he felt about Connor, at first it was dislike because Connor was always causing trouble and putting himself in danger and then it was nervousness around him because Connor had gotten hurt on the last mission and it made Becker think he'd be hated, because he should have been protecting him. Then the feelings just blossomed as he saw Connor's vulnerable side step into the light, Connor had lost his parents and nobody was there to hold him. Except Becker.

So when Connor wept Becker was there to comfort him and from that moment one thing led to another, but that was before the anomaly crisis, when Becker saw that anomaly close after Abby, Danny and Connor ran through his heart nearly exploded with pain. He managed to keep his cool all the way back to the ARC but when Lester asked what had happened to the rest of the team his body shut down and came back to life on auto-pilot. First Abby's desk, he took everything out of the drawers and stuffed it into a bag leaving it on her chair, and then Danny's desk.

Everything went into a separate bag, and was left on his chair but when Becker turned to Connor's desk he couldn't will himself to do it, to just knock his photos into the bag or to take his stupid little star wars figurine and dump it in. He wept in Sarah's arms that night.

"Nearly killed me when you didn't come back." Becker said still pinning Connor to the locker. "I couldn't even empty the stuff from your desk... I was really pissed when I walked in and Matt had all his stuff laid out, all of your things were in a bag on the floor." Becker watched Connor's head bob a little as he considered looking up. "Lester made him move, but then he went to Sarah's desk and I couldn't cope with that either. It was my fault you went through that anomaly, it was my fault I took Sarah out on a scouting mission and she died, it was my-"

"-None of that was your fault!" Connor said his eyes blazing straight into Becker's.

"There you are..." Becker whispered looking straight back at the other man.

Connor was brought back to reality with quite a bang, the door leading to the armoury slammed against the wall and the sound of gun shots could be heard, the room had been sound proofed so usually you couldn't hear what was going on inside, but Becker had already began shooting targets before the door closed.

"What did you to to make him that mad Connor?" Abby asked.

* * *

><p><strong>Connor POV<strong>

_Something had been playing on my mind for days now. I had noticed it a lot, my image of Becker helped carry me through that long period on the dark side of the anomaly so I knew there was something wrong when I came back and noticed how different Becker looked, but I couldn't quite place my finger on it. What was different?_

_His hair was still combed to the right like it usually was. And his hazel eyes were still... hazel. But he was different. Ever since Abby and I stepped back through the anomaly I noticed little things like how he hesitated before hugging me, and how he stumbled over his words when he asked me to move in with him, the Becker I remembered didn't get nervous like that._

_When I entered his flat it looked entirely different, he had taken the stuff from the flat I originally shared with Abby and stored it in his flat until she got a permanent place then she could have her stuff back, but all of my stuff had been incorporated into his, my 'geek' shows were lined up next to his DVDs. Sid and Nancy were running around his kitchen yapping like dogs and there were pictures of us on his walls._

_I had infested his home without even having been there._

_I noticed in his kitchen he had a small whiteboard tucked in the corner with everyday of the week mapped out, it mostly contained the word 'work' but there were simple things on it to like 'brush teeth' that confused me slightly but I didn't say anything at least not to Becker anyway._

_I went to Jess, she had been working at the ARC for a while and might have some idea what was going on. I thought she would have told me everything but instead she refused and said she was busy before vanishing without a trace, so I did something I probably shouldn't have and sat down in her chair, I used my knowledge of the ARC system to get into the private files._

_With a few swift and silent clicks I was in the system and had every bodies personal files up, I checked the CCTV and saw someone heading down the corridor towards the room so I printed everyone's files instead of taking the risk and sifting through to find just one._

_By the time whoever was coming arrived I had printed everything and ran out to my office, saying nothing no anybody._

_Silently I sat down pushing all the unnecessary sheets of paper into my drawer and held the ones with Becker's name on it in my hand, if I did this and there was something incriminating on it, I didn't know if I'd be able to cope._

_I quickly established that I already knew most of this information._

_"Name: Captain H. Becker_

_Age: 26_

_Height: 6''0_

_Home town: Romsey, Hampshire._

_Trained at Sandhurst, worked in Spec Ops. Hired by Lester to protect the team."_

_I thrust that piece of unhelpful junk to the back of the pile and was then faced with his military record, I scanned that for any clues it mentioned Becker being shot a few times but nothing particularly relevant. So again it went to the back of the pile, physical medical exam? Physically, I could tell you there was nothing wrong with that man and I could prove it so without even reading the paragraphs I looked down at the mental examination. The first thing I noticed was the words 'WEEKLY REVIEW' in big red letters._

_The piece had been written by some doctor from the local hospital written on it was the date, that was exactly seven days after the anomaly closed. Exam One: "During previous psychological examinations the Captain appeared to be fine. During this exam we spoke briefly about the disappearance of his colleagues but he was reluctant to speak especially about Temple, guilt is obvious."_

_The next exam took place a week later with the same doctor. Exam Two: "Unhealthy guilt complex, fears the worst for his friends still reluctant to talk about Temple. Unnatural tremor in hands. Recommend time off."_

_Exam Three: "Hangover brangout emotions. Irrational anger, tears. Depression?"_

_Exam Four: "Colleague Sarah Page, deceased. Guilt, anger, confusion. Two new colleagues, 'Anderson stubborn and headstrong, Parker bubbly and bizarre. Resigned as head of security."_

_After that the exam stopped and there was a piece in a red box listed as 'Family History'_

_"Age 9: Mother died in car accident, father became alcoholic. Age 14: Father died of stroke, lived with older brother. Age 21: Brother died of stroke. Moved to London." Becker had never told me about his family and how they had died and now I knew, I felt a little bad for reading his private file but the next part made me glad I did._

_"Hereditary condition - High risk." High risk of what? Death? Both his brother and his father had died of the same condition and now it said hereditary? Could he die?_

_I carried on reading they had written every important detail in his file like what he ate, how often he exercised and what he did. I then remembered Becker rarely ever drank and had never smoked and this was exactly why. This new piece of information left my head spinning, maybe it was a bad idea reading into his private life maybe he had been concealing all of this from me in order to protect me or something._

_As much as I didn't want to read any more my eyes just carried on down the page until I reached a date underlined in red, that was about two months after Abby and I stepped through the anomaly._

_"Hospitalised during work, symptoms: Slurred speech, facial paralysis, lost vision. Concussion caused by fall. Diagnosis: Hereditary Stroke.-" It felt like my heart had just exploded in my chest, just seconds ago I found out my boyfriend was at high risk of having a stroke and probably dying and then I found out he had already had a stroke while I was gone and I couldn't be there to help him. "-Treatment: Drugs to prevent clotting - can be found in medics office in case of emergency! Therapy for speech + movement. Three month R+R, additional R+R if necessary. Stitches for laceration."_

_I stopped reading when a tear hit the paper, this was why he was so different. The fact that his bottom lip was a slightly odd shape that I had never noticed before going through the anomaly, I never noticed it because it wasn't there until this happened, the minute twitch that was evident when he was still was caused by a stroke. And the photographs of him and the team, the pictures that made him look stick thin everything was explained here and it scared me. It scared me because he didn't tell me, did...Lester know? I couldn't help these thoughts swirling in my head somebody had obviously found him when this happened so they knew._

_If they knew then Lester probably knew, would he really allow someone with after effects like these be in control of a gun?_

_Before I had even registered what I was doing my legs were running through the ARC taking me to Lester's office, almost like he was expecting me he stood at his door. "I need to talk to you!" _

_"If this is you asking for a pay rise it's not going to happen Temple." _

_"No it's about Becker. It's important!" _

_With a deep reluctant sigh Lester allowed me into his office where I handed him my printed version of Becker's file, I didn't expect him to get up walk to a filing cabinet and pull out his own version of the file complete with coloured tabs and everything. _

_" Connor what you were looking at is a file of everything I need to know about our Captain and his medical status I understand your concern, but I trust the Captain is well enough to take care of them team and himself too. I gather you are angry he did not tell you himself?" _

_"I guess, I just don't understand why he would hide it from me." I said honestly sitting in one of Lester's chairs. "It wouldn't have happened if I hadn't ran through that anomaly, because I disappeared he got sick and could have died."_

_Lester sat down at the desk opposite and reached into one of the drawers pulling out a disk, he placed the disk between us and looked up at me. "It happened just after a creature incursion, Matt, Becker and some of the others pushed it back through the anomaly, Matt mentioned that on the way back Becker let him drive and fell asleep in the car. They were just talking for a while with Jess but then he sort of... walked away heading for the armoury, Matt saw him hit the table before it even happened-"_

_"-You should have just asked Connor!" That was definitely Becker's voice and he was miffed. "Sneaking behind my back, you know when you access private files I automatically get some kind of warning, figured you would have remembered that seeing as you set the device up."_

_I groaned I hadn't remembered that, how stupid could I be. I remembered then the program would automatically alert Becker's computer if someone had accessed the private files._

_"Connor, maybe you should go and take this with you." Lester held the disk out towards me, I stood awkwardly feeling Becker's eyes burning into the back of my head, I had really messed up this time._

* * *

><p><strong>Becker POV<strong>

Maybe I was to hard on him, OK so I was really hard on him. Connor was just trying to make sure everybody was safe, he just wanted to protect his friends, but the fact that he had found out about everything really got my back up. I didn't tell him about my family or anything else because I didn't want him to constantly think I was going to drop dead at any moment.

It felt like everybody was staring at me as I headed for the car park, Connor's car had gone making my heart squeeze painfully, he was probably picking up all of his stuff and taking it back to Abby's. That was if Abby even had room for him now.

I silently climbed into my car taking a moment to breathe, Matt was probably right the rage I felt probably wasn't good for me. But I only felt this rage because I had thrown Connor out of the apartment, at first I was angry because he had tried to report me to Lester and then I was angry because Matt kept telling me to calm down so that made me throw Connor out of our home, and now I was angry because Connor had gone to get his stuff and leave. I didn't want that at all, I was crazy about the little geek I certainly didn't want him to leave.

It felt like time was in slow motion as I drove home, every traffic light was red. Every queue seemed to last forever. Pulling up in the car park I parked directly in front of Connor's car that way if he tried to leave he wouldn't be able to drive and would have to stay, I hoped we wouldn't even have to get that far.

Climbing out of the car I headed for the elevator, at times like these I regretted living so high up I was in a hurry and needed to get to Connor as quickly as possible, when the elevator doors open I ran to the door of our apartment and froze seeing it open. Connor was sat on the sofa with the remote control in his hand, watching the DVD Lester had given him and the first face I recognised was Jess, the walls were definitely hospital walls.

"Uh hi Connor, I know we don't know each other so my name's Jess and this is Matt we've taken your place in the ARC, I guess if you are watching this you are back and... I guess you found out what happened instead of leaving you in the dark like Becker would probably do. We made this, to help you understand-"

"-Connor you don't have to watch that." I said speaking over Jess' voice, it was then she turned the camera, I thought I was going to be sick. Jess had pointed her stupid little hand-held camera at me as I lay in that stupid hospital bed completely unconscious, I didn't remember ever being rigged up with that many wires, or having that thick white tube rammed down my throat. And that cut on my forehead was visible leaving me with this now permanent scar on my eyebrow. "Turn it off Connor."

"No, I need to watch it." He replied listening to Jess and Matt talking about what had happened, when it happened and a load of other completely irrelevant information, I stood in the doorway trying to ignore the image of me on the screen. The next scene was just after I woke up and Jess kept asking me questions so she could record my voice, I sounded ridiculous my face barely moved as I spoke and I sounded like a child all of my words seemed to drag unnaturally. Connor seemed to stiffen as the 'TV me' mumbled his name repeatedly whilst clutching something in his hand, I couldn't remember what I had been holding at the time but I knew it belonged to Connor.

I knew the worst parts of that film were still to come, like the time I fell during one of those stupid physio sessions the doctor tried to get me to walk and I couldn't but that stupid woman just didn't care! There was also the time I hit Matt, he had a black eye for a week and I didn't give a shit I just wanted to go home. The worst part of the whole thing would be when Connor watched the part where I physically couldn't take any more, I cried because he wasn't there and I cried because he was my best friend and my only love, I cried because I wanted it to be him holding my hand and not Jess. As great as she was I wanted Connor.

I wanted Connor to be the person sleeping in the chair beside my bed and not Matt, I wanted Connor to be the one who fell asleep on the bed beside me when I woke up from a nightmare, I didn't want anybody else I just wanted him!

"Connor I'm sorry, I don't want you to go. I was annoyed and I acted like a... child." I said hoping it would take Connor away from the home movie but instead he ignored me and stared at the screen like it was the most interesting thing in the room. "I don't want to watch this stupid film, please turn it off and talk to me instead."

"I want to watch it." Connor said with a shaky voice I knew what was coming next, the object I had been holding in my hand at the time of the filming had been a frame with Connor's picture in it, Jess had given it to me to see if I could remember who he was. I remembered... everything. From the moment we met until the day he disappeared and all the times in between, waking up for the first time with him in my bed beside me, secretly kissing in the car park before we parted because he was too afraid people would realise we were together if we walked in at the same time and that time I taught him how to aim with a gun properly, granted it was just my way of getting close to him during work hours.

I watched the on-screen me launch the picture frame across the room quite lamely as Matt reached down to try and calm me down I must have panicked and lashed out at him the first time hitting him in the chest and the second time in the face, I stopped immediately after catching his eye and stared at him angrily, but then like a switch had been flicked.

"...What happened to you?" I asked him just watching him as a nurse rushed in to look at him, Matt gently declined her treatment and turned back to me plastering on what I could now see as a completely fake smile.

"Nothing mate, just got into a little fight, I'll live." Matt smiled weakly and turned away from the camera, I could see now I had scared the crap out of him, I wasn't sure if it was because I had just freaked out or because I hit him.

"Connor," I could barely say his name and that got his attention. "Please... turn it off." Connor silently pressed a button on the remote freezing the screen he then stood, the track marks on his cheeks told me all I needed to know, my outburst at work had hurt him.

"I was just trying to help I-"

"-It doesn't matter now I shouldn't have acted like that, I was scared you'd think differently about me, I didn't want you to worry. I probably would have told you eventually, I just needed some time." I said slowly walking towards Connor, I couldn't help but notice how he leaned away from my slightly but I ignored it gently reaching forward and taking one of his hands in mine. His hands were cold, I lifted his hand and kissed his palm before attempting to warm it with both of my hands. "I'm sorry for yelling at you like that I didn't mean it. I love you more then anything in the world, I'll never speak to you like that again ever."

"Don't make promises you can't keep." Connor said sadly staring down at the floor.

I shook my head, using one hand to lift his chin and make him look at me. "I will keep that promise Connor, I was just angry, you do not know what it is like being in that position. To physically feel like your brain is this heavy and empty rock that does nothing I could remember being normal and being able to think, but after that it was just like my brain couldn't control my body and I had to learn everything again. The patronising voices and being stuck in the same room with the same faces for weeks, faces I didn't want to see, I wanted you to come through the door not Matt or Jess. You." I paused changing slightly. "I forget things simple things like brushing my teeth and having a shower, Jess designed this timetable to help but I forget to look at it..."

"...Sometimes I can't even remember my own name but give me a gun and I could tell you everything about it. Remember that time we went shopping and I couldn't remember the word tomato, my mouth tends to work faster then my brain, sometimes my mind could be completely blank and I'll just go to my own little world. Lester insists I see the doctor every two weeks that way they can work out if it's getting better or worse, or look for warning signs saying it might happen again."

Connor sighed pushing his arms around my waist. "You should have told me weeks ago I could have helped you!"

I couldn't help but roll my eyes. "When you try and help something always blows up, I still haven't got all that macaroni out of the microwave yet."

Connor smiled shyly. "I love you."

For a moment I was stunned he didn't throw around words like that too often, Connor had always had this defence mechanism that prevented the words coming from his mouth so when I say I was surprised to hear the words, it was kind of an understatement. As his head rested on my chest I brushed his hair glad it was back to his short crazy mess, it took a moment for my mind and my body to reconnect and then I smiled kissing the top of his head like he was a child.

"Love you too."

"Becker?"

"Mmm?"

"Can I watch the rest of that home movie?"

I groaned he wanted to see it so he knew what I had been through. "Promise me you'll throw it away after?"

Connor nodded squeezing my waist. "Yeah." A little bit of trust can go a long way.


End file.
